MY NEW TATOO

Mother has got to be so proud!

---

If your bellybutton is an integral component of a
tattoo.................you might be a redneck.

If this doesn't make you laugh out loud - your laugh is broken! 

now isn't this just the cat's MEOW!!!

The Birds and the Bees?

The Birds and the Bees?

A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his
4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole
event.

The man thought, "Great...he's 4 and I'm gonna have to start explaining
the birds and the bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask,
and I'll answer."

After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said,
"Well son, do you have any questions?"

"Just one." gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf
going when he hit that cow?"

Fw: The 3 Moles....

> A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole all live together in a little
> mole hole.
> One day, papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and
> said,
> 'Yum! I smell maple syrup!'
>
> The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and said,
> 'Oh, Yum! I smell honey!'
>
> Now baby mole is trying to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the
> air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way.
>
> This makes him whine,
> 'Geez, all I can smell is....
>
> MOLASSES!
>
> (Yes, you know you're gonna pass it on!)

Add to vent..

This is mobile to type in. I have vent here and could tell you what.
Number one is someone gone without me knowing where or when comes back
? Number two is someone could blame on me without me knowing what is
going on ? Number three is that person will go be not invites in my
property for good. Number four is that person give me another chance
for come back then the answer is no, mean true. Number five is you have
my problem then you have talk straight, not listen to person has lot to
tell you about. Number six is if not believe then too bad cuz you are
not invite in my property. That is enough is enough! U have contact
me in email, not have my email address then too bad.

What a night.

I have hard time to explain clear but they want to blame on each other
for lying and not trust. They not have to see what we are trying to
explain. I can't take that anymore, I should have to left and go home.
I not need them anymore and I am barely talks. It hurts me lot because
I can't allow myself to speak and they take blame on each other. I
can't take anymore.

Gee

I found out some of people has image of porn like girls can pumping of
her part and boys can pumping of his top. It is true porn. I hate
that image...eew!

~
Www.jamsnew.webs.com/

Work alike

I not want to be same as that person who is deaf and work with me. She
is leaving for her retirement. Anyway, I have heard from her talking
about everything seems fishy to her. Today I felt like I am her because
I kept tell them about computer being slow. I not mean to say but they
kept tell me why I am slow so the reason is system slow. That is
simply.

FW: Smiley at Walmart

>>>> Smiley at Walmart.....
>>>>
>>>> This is exactly why you should always twirl once in front of the
>>>> mirror before leaving the house.

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 8th January, 2009

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 8th January, 2009 -
http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Two Golfers
-------------------------

Two men were out playing golf on a nice Saturday afternoon.

They were getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were
playing
right in front of them were quite slow, and were holding up the men's
game.

"Don't they know their supposed to let us play through?!" asked the
first man.

The other man shook his head. "I'm going to go ask them if we can play
through,"
said the first man, emphatically, "Enough is enough!"

He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he
suddenly
turned around and came back, white as a ghost.

"Oh God," he said to his friend, "This is awful. You're going to have to
ask
those women if we can play through. You see, one of them is my wife, and
the
other is my mistress!"

The other man shrugged, and said "No sweat."

He walked over toward the women, and just as he was getting close,
turned around
and came running back to his pal. His eyes wide open, he said - "Small
world
isn't it!"

Www.jamsnew.webs.com/

Deaf understood the problem of hearing trouble ?

Fw: And then the fight started...

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, what's on TV?'

I
said, 'Dust.'                                                      

And then the fight started...

_______________________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

_______________________________________

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive... so, I took her to a
gas station.                

And then the fight started...

_______________________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had
left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but
I would have to go home and come
back later.                         

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.  So I opened my shirt
revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your
chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
Security application.     

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social
Security office.                                          

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability,
too.'                                                

And then the fight started...

_______________________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
a nearby
table.                                  

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go
on celebrating
that long?'                                                

And then the fight started...

_______________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.  The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

_______________________________________

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not
happy with what she sees and says to her husband,' I feel horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started...

_______________________________________

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold
cream.

And then the fight started...

_______________________________________

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her
not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.

And then the fight started...